What Your Envy Might Be Trying to Tell You
Let's talk about something most folks don't like to admit.
The Green Eyed Monster! Otherwise known as envy.
Such an awful feeling. We don’t like it in others and we definitely don’t like it about ourselves. However, when living in a big city like Los Angeles, it’s a feeling that’s all too familiar.
You see someone leave their corporate job to start a business. Someone goes back to school. Someone launches a podcast, writes a book, opens a practice, or pursues a dream you've been quietly thinking about for years.
And instead of feeling inspired, you feel irritated. Maybe even a little resentful.
Immediately, guilt follows:
"Why am I reacting this way?"
"Why can't I just be happy for them?"
Here's what I've learned after years of working with ambitious women to help them understand envy. Most of the time, envy is not about the other person at all.
It's about you.
More specifically, it's about a part of you that recognizes something you deeply want. The person who triggers you may simply be reflecting a dream you've been afraid to claim.
Think about it.
We don’t get jealous over things we don't actually desire. We react because something inside us says "I want that too."
This is information, not a character flaw. Instead of listening to what the envy is revealing, they judge themselves and feel shame for having it. And this is where many women stop…
Or they criticize the other person's success.
Or they convince themselves that person got lucky.
Or they collect more information and continue waiting.
But what if you replace shame and quitting with curiosity? Let’s see what could happen!
The next time envy shows up, try asking yourself:
What specifically am I reacting to?
What qualities do I admire in this person?
What desire does this bring up in me?
What dream have I been postponing?
These questions can reveal the powerful truth that envy is actually longing. That the irritation is ambition that is unexpressed. That we are triggered because we have put ourselves on hold. That we are frustrated because we don’t know what starting even looks like.
You don't have to act on every dream immediately. You don't have to make a dramatic change overnight.
But you do owe it to yourself to listen. And start. Because buried beneath envy is often valuable information about:
Who you're becoming.
What matters to you.
What you want your next chapter to look like.
The women who successfully claim their dream for themselves aren't necessarily the women who never feel fear. They're the women who stop ignoring the messages their lives are sending them.
So, don’t push envy away the next time it shows up.
Get curious!
It might just be the information you need toward the life you've been waiting to create.
Envy is tough. Contact me at the link below to see what your envy might be telling you! Let’s talk and imagine the possibilities.
